Flashback!
I just learned the most awesome thing ever. Ever!
Did you know...oh, god, I can't stand this!! ...did you know that it's still possible to
buy a DeLorean?!Damn it! If I'd only know this a few months ago, when L'il Red was totalled, I'd SO be driving one now!
Zombieland
I saw it.
It was awesome, even if all the major zombie-kills were in the previews and I was already spoiled for the "Surprise Cameo by a Major Star" bit. How could I not love a movie that starts out with the narration: "This is me, after z-day, in Garland, Texas. It may look like zombies have trashed the place...but that's just Garland."
I've been to Garland. I laughed out loud.
I could get nit-picky about the logistics of some of the scenes -- there's no way he really had
that apartment in Austin, Texas -- but there's no point. For a zombie movie, you either sit back and enjoy the sheer fun of it, or you don't. Nit-picks have no place in zombie-movie-lore.
I can't wait to add that to my movie collection.
Best. Preview. EVER!!!
This. I must see this.C'mon, y'all! It's got Nazi zombies. Nazi zombies! How could I not adore the very idea?! Frozen, mummified, Nazi zombies -- it's like the movie was
made for me!
Between this and the new Woody Harrelson zombie movie, it's like someone's got a direct pipeline into my brain!
Hm. Perhaps "brain" was a poor word choice, under the circumstances...
Surfacing
I only have a minute -- I swear, this nonsense at work is almost over! -- but someone sent me this link that was just
too awesome to keep it away from you: mathematicians have done scientific modeling to determine how fast, and to what effect, a
zombie outbreak would spread.
The bad news? Any zombie outbreak that isn't quickly and decisively squashed would lead to the end of humanity.
The good news? Uh...I mean...er, now we know? I don't see good news in this. And yet, the very existence of this white paper made me laugh until I cried.
It may be the sleep deprivation kicking in, however.
And my mother sent me
this article, which is an analysis of the paper and the impact of zombies on international relations, and includes some comments which also made me laugh way too hard: "...and British beef would once again be banned as a matter of principle."
I really need to get out of the office for a little while....
Laughter is really the only option at this point
o there I was, in a windowless conference room with the five people who
absolutely had to give their blessings to the document that I have sweated blood over for the last week. The document was only 90% finished, but this post-lunch meeting was literally the only hour I could get on their collective calendar, so we rolled with it. I could tell it was going to be an uphill slog, because the Big Dog of the whole group, the person whose opinion on my work could make or break the whole project, was in such a snit over god-knows-what that he was sitting at the table in such a way that he
had his back to me the entire time.
The rest of the group rolled their eyes at him, though, so I knew it wasn't me or my document. Still, I was uneasy. It was a 90-minute meeting, and if he was going to start off by carping that he didn't appreciate having to cut his lunch hour short for the meeting, things weren't going to be easy.
And then the lights went out.
That's right -- 15 minutes into a 90-minute meeting that I had to, had to,
had to have...the lights went out. For only the second time in the five years I've worked there, the entire complex lost power.
And then? It got worse.
The lights came back on in the cube-farm outside our door. We waited a beat...but the lights never came back on in the conference room. The power failure had blown the fuse for
just the room I was in!What did I do? I took a deep breath, tilted my copy of the document into the light through the open door...and kept on with my review. I forced the Big Dog to stay in his seat and keep on going, grumbling be damned.
And when it was over, I fled the building with my marked-up copy of the document, before they could realize that I was laughing. Really, what else could I do?
This project has some serious bad karma.
Unexpected...bonus?
Well, after two weeks of ridiculously long hours, poor eating, and the occasional break for the yoga class which I foolishly signed up for before I realized how bad this month was going to be (and which I could not get refunded), I had two interesting things happen today:
1) I submitted a time sheet for 126 hours, instead of the 80 that was originally projected. This will be a great help in covering the bills that piled up in July; as a contractor, I don't get paid vacation at all.
2) I came home and discovered that I could take my jeans off without bothering to unfasten them. Now I'm conflicted between three things -- happiness, because I really could stand to lose some weight; cynicism, because I don't believe that it's really gone for good; and annoyance, because if it really
is gone, then I have to go buy more clothes. And I hate to shop for clothes with a fiery passion.
It's been a long month so far.
Step away from the glitter ball!
One of my coworkers has a cough.
It's a hefty-sounding, almost painful-to-hear cough, and it's just part of who she is. She's had it as long as we've worked together, and I don't even need to put my headphones on to screen it out anymore. It's just background noise on the office.
Until tonight, that is, when I was waiting for a transaction to process. I caught myself staring into the blank reflection of my monitor, cooking up a fantasy in which I would stand up on my chair, scream "
Knock it off with the ruddy coughing already!" and then bean her with the fist-sized glitter ball I keep on my desk.
...it was time to go, clearly.
Luckily, she will work from home tomorrow, so I won't have to run the risk of glitter-ball-related assault.
